I'm not sure if anybody else felt the same, but I think this week's backpacking adventure consisted of a particularly tough part of the road. Not just for Joshua and his people who had to cross the Jordan, but also for me. I read the part over and over - in English, then in German, then again in English... and I am still not sure if I can wrap my head around what I read.
The whole idea of following a leader is a tough one. Especially if you are German... Maybe it is because I was raised not to follow. Maybe because I was taught to think and because I always chose a way in life that was not taken by everybody else, the one "less traveled"...
But in this passage, the Israelites are told to purify themselves and then to follow. To keep their eyes on the ark of the covenant and follow God. The ark of the covenant might be a reminder and a representation of their old traditions, their history, their identity. When you follow someone or something, you give up (at least a part of) your identity. Is that a good thing? Hmmm. Sometimes. Maybe.
I can see how giving oneself up for the LORD is a good thing, especially when you are promised great things in return. But what if these promises are lies? People who commit suicide and blow themselves up just because they believe that they will get into heaven in return... If you follow someone because you think you will get an advantage out of this, isn't that more of a business deal than anything else...
At first glance it seems like "following" is an easy thing to do, but man, if you want to do it right, if you want to follow the right leader, it is so hard! Maybe the secret lies in purifying oneself... But how can you do that? Isn't that something that only Jesus can do for me?
I think I still have to ponder this passage a little more...
One thing comes to mind though, is a song by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. He was a Lutheran priest and took many different roads in his life. He also travelled to many other places to teach and lead, to learn and follow, and just to share his faith. He travelled to Mexico, Cuba, Italy, Spain, England and Libya. He didn't cross the Jordan, but one of his roads led him across the ocean to America, to Harlem. No matter where he went, his leader was always the same person, our Lord. Just like Joshua, he helped to lead God's people to freedom, but because he lived during difficult times and he chose the Lord (and not someone else) as the leader of his life, one of his roads lead him straight into a concentration camp, where he died as a martyr. While being imprisoned, he wrote one of my favorite church songs: "Von guten Mächten"/ "By gracious powers".
The song in and of itself is wonderful, but there is one stanza that has always made a big impression on me:
And when this cup you give is filled to brimming
With bitter suffering, hard to understand,
We take it thankfully and without trembling
Out of so good, and so beloved a hand.
To not only bear suffering by crying out to the Lord but by actually accepting suffering or as he did sure death "thankfully and without trembling" is just amazing. Who can say that about their faith? I am not sure if I do have such strong faith that I can follow the Lord down a road full of suffering and on top of this be thankful and not even tremble. Amazing! Just amazing!
Listen to a German version of the song here.
Find out more about D. Bonhoeffer
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Backpacking through Joshua - Week 2
This week was a very busy week for me. My Christmas break ended and I flew back to the US. I thought a lot of last weeks' backpacking adventure while I was on the plane and the words "be strong and courageous" keep on ringing in my ears like a tune that I just can't get out of my head.
And as it always is after a break, I was greeted by tons of work...but also by a new chapter of Joshua (yay!). It's a little bit of a story, if you want to stick with me, but for me, this week was all about Rahab.
Did I mention that I am a German instructor at a college? For me this is like a calling. It's what I like to do and what I am good at. But I don't do it just for myself. I get in contact with a lot of students and teaching them a foreign language is a little bit like opening a new door for them. Speaking a foreign language and knowing about a foreign culture is not just preparation to travel abroad, but it helps people to reflect back on their own lives and can (not just physically) lead them into new directions that would otherwise be hidden from them.
Anyway, teaching is my way of serving the Lord. I'm single, I have no children and I am not a very important person at all. Unlike other researchers, I doubt that I will find a cure for cancer or that there is any other huge accomplishment for human kind in my future. But maybe there is for one of my students. They are so smart and full of ideas and energy. I am sure the Lord has big plans for their lives. My job is it to prepare them for these big plans by teaching them German. As I see it, I am serving the Lord by serving my students. That is what makes me part of God's big plan.
{Are you still following my story? I promise I'll get to Rahab soon!}
Due to the bad economy, my current school combined two positions. In other words, I am working two jobs and only get paid the bare minimum that one job would usually pay. In addition, I am often asked to do extra jobs on the side without earning any form of recognition (which would be important for an academic career) or any compensation. It is bad. Very. But during these times, I am glad that I have a job at all.
At the moment, I have a group of very intelligent and motivated students. Because I feel responsible and committed to my students, last semester I promised them something for this semester. When I came back this week, I learned that my department had found out about this promise and is now trying to twist it into a completely new direction, making me work extra time each week without getting paid for it.
You wouldn't believe how upset I was when I found out about it! I felt used and taken advantage of. I shed tears of anger and frustration. I felt caught between the commitment to my students and my own interests.
What am I supposed to do?
The entire situation basically burns down to two options: (a) I could keep my promise and be taken advantage of, or (b) I could break my promise and protect myself from being taken advantage of.
And while I am still pondering my options, I get contacted by a student of mine who is scared that I will break my promise. What am I supposed to do? And in my ears it still rings: Be strong and courageous, Mimi, be strong and courageous!
And this is when I met Rahab!
Rahab was a harlot. She knew what it was like to be taken advantage of in much, much, much worse ways than I ever experienced. As if this wasn't dangerous enough, she hid three spies, before she was even promised anything in return. What if the spies had been found? What if Joshua had not agreed to a deal with her, a harlot? After all, she was a person that had just broken one of God's laws by lying! Rahab faced dangers from all sides. Can you imagine how she must have felt, when they came searching for Joshua's men in her house?
As I see it, this is not reflecting back well one Joshua and his people. I mean, what are your men doing in a house of a harlot in the first place? Seriously, Joshua!
Then having someone else like Rahab lie for you. Come on, Joshua, you know better than that!
On top of this, God had just told Joshua to be strong and of good courage and what do his men do? Hide like a mouse!
I don't mean to be too critical, but way to reflect on God's character here, Joshua!
To be honest, "the deal" Joshua's men make in verses 17-21 also sounds more like a threat than a promise. Just like bank robbers, like criminals, they tell Rahab to stay put in her house, to not move outside, to not have anybody of her family come after them or else they would be killed. Hmmmm.
And what do these men do when they get back to safety? These men who just hid for days, having a woman, a prostitute protect them, go and tell their friends that the people of Jericho were afraid of them. Uhm, somebody is hiding some crucial parts of the story just to keep face in front of their friends.
Oh well, let's hope they will at least keep their promise to Rahab in the next chapters.
As I see it, this chapter is not exactly a shining example of God's people presenting his charakter. I think the true heroine here is Rahab!
Rahab is the one who is strong! She is the one strong enough to admit her weaknesses, her fears the respect that she has for the Lord after she heard about what he did in Egypt.
Rahab is the one who is the true believer and follower by risking her life for the Lord and his men!
Rahab is the one who is courageous by hiding the spies!
Rahab is the one who is faithful trusting in God even before she received a promise from Joshua's men!
Go Rahab!
Rahab is strong, faithful, courageous, and loyal to her promise. What might look like she lets Joshua's men take advantage of her, using her house as a hiding place and risking her life, is actually her way of serving the Lord. Even though, it might first look like she is being taken advantage of by Joshua's men, it is quite the opposite: She is being used by the Lord.
The annotations of my bible say that she was given a place in the lineage of the Messiah (Matt 1:5). The promise she received was not just about immediate benefit and protection for her and her family, but she received the promise of being saved for eternity.
Rahab made a good deal!
At the beginning of this blog post, I wrote about my situation and the two options I have: (A) keeping a promise and being taken advantage of, or (B) breaking a promise and protecting myself from being taken advantage of.
Since I really believe that I am serving the Lord through my teaching and that God is keeping his promises and not taking advantage of me, but using me for his big plan, there is really just one option for me.
Be strong and courageous, Mimi!
And as it always is after a break, I was greeted by tons of work...but also by a new chapter of Joshua (yay!). It's a little bit of a story, if you want to stick with me, but for me, this week was all about Rahab.
Did I mention that I am a German instructor at a college? For me this is like a calling. It's what I like to do and what I am good at. But I don't do it just for myself. I get in contact with a lot of students and teaching them a foreign language is a little bit like opening a new door for them. Speaking a foreign language and knowing about a foreign culture is not just preparation to travel abroad, but it helps people to reflect back on their own lives and can (not just physically) lead them into new directions that would otherwise be hidden from them.
Anyway, teaching is my way of serving the Lord. I'm single, I have no children and I am not a very important person at all. Unlike other researchers, I doubt that I will find a cure for cancer or that there is any other huge accomplishment for human kind in my future. But maybe there is for one of my students. They are so smart and full of ideas and energy. I am sure the Lord has big plans for their lives. My job is it to prepare them for these big plans by teaching them German. As I see it, I am serving the Lord by serving my students. That is what makes me part of God's big plan.
{Are you still following my story? I promise I'll get to Rahab soon!}
Due to the bad economy, my current school combined two positions. In other words, I am working two jobs and only get paid the bare minimum that one job would usually pay. In addition, I am often asked to do extra jobs on the side without earning any form of recognition (which would be important for an academic career) or any compensation. It is bad. Very. But during these times, I am glad that I have a job at all.
At the moment, I have a group of very intelligent and motivated students. Because I feel responsible and committed to my students, last semester I promised them something for this semester. When I came back this week, I learned that my department had found out about this promise and is now trying to twist it into a completely new direction, making me work extra time each week without getting paid for it.
You wouldn't believe how upset I was when I found out about it! I felt used and taken advantage of. I shed tears of anger and frustration. I felt caught between the commitment to my students and my own interests.
What am I supposed to do?
The entire situation basically burns down to two options: (a) I could keep my promise and be taken advantage of, or (b) I could break my promise and protect myself from being taken advantage of.
And while I am still pondering my options, I get contacted by a student of mine who is scared that I will break my promise. What am I supposed to do? And in my ears it still rings: Be strong and courageous, Mimi, be strong and courageous!
And this is when I met Rahab!
Rahab was a harlot. She knew what it was like to be taken advantage of in much, much, much worse ways than I ever experienced. As if this wasn't dangerous enough, she hid three spies, before she was even promised anything in return. What if the spies had been found? What if Joshua had not agreed to a deal with her, a harlot? After all, she was a person that had just broken one of God's laws by lying! Rahab faced dangers from all sides. Can you imagine how she must have felt, when they came searching for Joshua's men in her house?
As I see it, this is not reflecting back well one Joshua and his people. I mean, what are your men doing in a house of a harlot in the first place? Seriously, Joshua!
Then having someone else like Rahab lie for you. Come on, Joshua, you know better than that!
On top of this, God had just told Joshua to be strong and of good courage and what do his men do? Hide like a mouse!
I don't mean to be too critical, but way to reflect on God's character here, Joshua!
To be honest, "the deal" Joshua's men make in verses 17-21 also sounds more like a threat than a promise. Just like bank robbers, like criminals, they tell Rahab to stay put in her house, to not move outside, to not have anybody of her family come after them or else they would be killed. Hmmmm.
And what do these men do when they get back to safety? These men who just hid for days, having a woman, a prostitute protect them, go and tell their friends that the people of Jericho were afraid of them. Uhm, somebody is hiding some crucial parts of the story just to keep face in front of their friends.
Oh well, let's hope they will at least keep their promise to Rahab in the next chapters.
As I see it, this chapter is not exactly a shining example of God's people presenting his charakter. I think the true heroine here is Rahab!
Rahab is the one who is strong! She is the one strong enough to admit her weaknesses, her fears the respect that she has for the Lord after she heard about what he did in Egypt.
Rahab is the one who is the true believer and follower by risking her life for the Lord and his men!
Rahab is the one who is courageous by hiding the spies!
Rahab is the one who is faithful trusting in God even before she received a promise from Joshua's men!
Go Rahab!
Rahab is strong, faithful, courageous, and loyal to her promise. What might look like she lets Joshua's men take advantage of her, using her house as a hiding place and risking her life, is actually her way of serving the Lord. Even though, it might first look like she is being taken advantage of by Joshua's men, it is quite the opposite: She is being used by the Lord.
The annotations of my bible say that she was given a place in the lineage of the Messiah (Matt 1:5). The promise she received was not just about immediate benefit and protection for her and her family, but she received the promise of being saved for eternity.
Rahab made a good deal!
At the beginning of this blog post, I wrote about my situation and the two options I have: (A) keeping a promise and being taken advantage of, or (B) breaking a promise and protecting myself from being taken advantage of.
Since I really believe that I am serving the Lord through my teaching and that God is keeping his promises and not taking advantage of me, but using me for his big plan, there is really just one option for me.
Be strong and courageous, Mimi!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Backpacking through Joshua - Week 1
I'm sitting here, in front of my computer with my bible. Joshua, here I come!!! I am ready for this backpacking - bible study - adventure. The book of Joshua intrigues me. I am not sure why, but maybe it has a little bit to do with my own life and my story...
I am originally from Germany. About 10 years ago, I went on a student exchange to the US. I had never spent a whole year abroad before. And here I was going abroad into a foreign country, where I didn't really know anyone, except maybe for a pen pal... I didn't know if my English would be good enough to get around, I didn't know if I would be able to follow the lectures and courses at the college I enrolled. When I boarded the plane, I didn't know where I would stay when I arrived. The exchange agency had promised to organize housing for me, but I didn't know where it would be, if I would have a roommate. Would she be a nice person? I boarded the plane with 300 other passengers, but I felt incredibly alone...
On that plane ride, somewhere, thousands of feet over the atlantic ocean, between nibbling on airplane peanuts and getting handed earphones from a stewardess, I sent out a prayer to my Lord. I put my life into his hands and I promised to trust in him with my future and I wholeheartedly believed that he would provide for me... wherever my journey would lead me.
I wish I had read the first chapter in the book of Joshua at that point. But even though I roughly knew the story, I had never really read this book of the bible. But it didn't matter. I was living it at that moment.
I often find myself looking back at this first journey to the US, the first days in that foreign country, trying to find my way around. Sometimes, I am a little surprised at all the strength and courage I must have had during that time. But I knew that I wasn't alone. I knew everything would be alright. And it was!
Since then, I have crossed the Atlantic many times. The student exchange turned into grad school and eventually into a job. I still go back and forth to visit friends and family for Christmas and during the summer. I know that I am never alone no matter where I go.
Nowadays, the unknown has taken on different shapes: Will my job contract get renewed at the end of the year? What happens if not? Will I have set enough money aside for when I get old or sick? What if something happens to my parents in Europe while I am in the states?...
Whenever these thoughts cross my mind, I think back at that time on the airplane. I remind myself to trust in God. If we make a new friend and get to know that person, it might take a while before we trust that person. I see it as a big gift and proof of friendship when I trust in a friend or when a friend trusts in me. But with God, the situation is different. Trust in God is not optional. It is not just a nice bonus to a happy life. In Joshua 1:9, it is a command. We don't have to ask God for protection and guidance. We can rest assured that God is with us. We can be strong and courage because he is with us.
Before I left for the states, I got a lot of friends and family members gave me gifts to take with me. But WOW! What a gift I had received from my Lord! I am looking forward to what else this backpacking adventure has in store for me...
I am originally from Germany. About 10 years ago, I went on a student exchange to the US. I had never spent a whole year abroad before. And here I was going abroad into a foreign country, where I didn't really know anyone, except maybe for a pen pal... I didn't know if my English would be good enough to get around, I didn't know if I would be able to follow the lectures and courses at the college I enrolled. When I boarded the plane, I didn't know where I would stay when I arrived. The exchange agency had promised to organize housing for me, but I didn't know where it would be, if I would have a roommate. Would she be a nice person? I boarded the plane with 300 other passengers, but I felt incredibly alone...
On that plane ride, somewhere, thousands of feet over the atlantic ocean, between nibbling on airplane peanuts and getting handed earphones from a stewardess, I sent out a prayer to my Lord. I put my life into his hands and I promised to trust in him with my future and I wholeheartedly believed that he would provide for me... wherever my journey would lead me.
I wish I had read the first chapter in the book of Joshua at that point. But even though I roughly knew the story, I had never really read this book of the bible. But it didn't matter. I was living it at that moment.
I often find myself looking back at this first journey to the US, the first days in that foreign country, trying to find my way around. Sometimes, I am a little surprised at all the strength and courage I must have had during that time. But I knew that I wasn't alone. I knew everything would be alright. And it was!
Since then, I have crossed the Atlantic many times. The student exchange turned into grad school and eventually into a job. I still go back and forth to visit friends and family for Christmas and during the summer. I know that I am never alone no matter where I go.
Nowadays, the unknown has taken on different shapes: Will my job contract get renewed at the end of the year? What happens if not? Will I have set enough money aside for when I get old or sick? What if something happens to my parents in Europe while I am in the states?...
Whenever these thoughts cross my mind, I think back at that time on the airplane. I remind myself to trust in God. If we make a new friend and get to know that person, it might take a while before we trust that person. I see it as a big gift and proof of friendship when I trust in a friend or when a friend trusts in me. But with God, the situation is different. Trust in God is not optional. It is not just a nice bonus to a happy life. In Joshua 1:9, it is a command. We don't have to ask God for protection and guidance. We can rest assured that God is with us. We can be strong and courage because he is with us.
Before I left for the states, I got a lot of friends and family members gave me gifts to take with me. But WOW! What a gift I had received from my Lord! I am looking forward to what else this backpacking adventure has in store for me...
Friday, January 7, 2011
Backpacking through Joshua
The new year has just started and I am already in the middle of a new adventure. I signed up for an online bible study called "Backpacking through Joshua". I am so excited, because I have never participated in an online bible study before! I am looking forward to what lies ahead of me! :)
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