I'm not sure if anybody else felt the same, but I think this week's backpacking adventure consisted of a particularly tough part of the road. Not just for Joshua and his people who had to cross the Jordan, but also for me. I read the part over and over - in English, then in German, then again in English... and I am still not sure if I can wrap my head around what I read.
The whole idea of following a leader is a tough one. Especially if you are German... Maybe it is because I was raised not to follow. Maybe because I was taught to think and because I always chose a way in life that was not taken by everybody else, the one "less traveled"...
But in this passage, the Israelites are told to purify themselves and then to follow. To keep their eyes on the ark of the covenant and follow God. The ark of the covenant might be a reminder and a representation of their old traditions, their history, their identity. When you follow someone or something, you give up (at least a part of) your identity. Is that a good thing? Hmmm. Sometimes. Maybe.
I can see how giving oneself up for the LORD is a good thing, especially when you are promised great things in return. But what if these promises are lies? People who commit suicide and blow themselves up just because they believe that they will get into heaven in return... If you follow someone because you think you will get an advantage out of this, isn't that more of a business deal than anything else...
At first glance it seems like "following" is an easy thing to do, but man, if you want to do it right, if you want to follow the right leader, it is so hard! Maybe the secret lies in purifying oneself... But how can you do that? Isn't that something that only Jesus can do for me?
I think I still have to ponder this passage a little more...
One thing comes to mind though, is a song by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. He was a Lutheran priest and took many different roads in his life. He also travelled to many other places to teach and lead, to learn and follow, and just to share his faith. He travelled to Mexico, Cuba, Italy, Spain, England and Libya. He didn't cross the Jordan, but one of his roads led him across the ocean to America, to Harlem. No matter where he went, his leader was always the same person, our Lord. Just like Joshua, he helped to lead God's people to freedom, but because he lived during difficult times and he chose the Lord (and not someone else) as the leader of his life, one of his roads lead him straight into a concentration camp, where he died as a martyr. While being imprisoned, he wrote one of my favorite church songs: "Von guten Mächten"/ "By gracious powers".
The song in and of itself is wonderful, but there is one stanza that has always made a big impression on me:
And when this cup you give is filled to brimming
With bitter suffering, hard to understand,
We take it thankfully and without trembling
Out of so good, and so beloved a hand.
To not only bear suffering by crying out to the Lord but by actually accepting suffering or as he did sure death "thankfully and without trembling" is just amazing. Who can say that about their faith? I am not sure if I do have such strong faith that I can follow the Lord down a road full of suffering and on top of this be thankful and not even tremble. Amazing! Just amazing!
Listen to a German version of the song here.
Find out more about D. Bonhoeffer
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Backpacking through Joshua - Week 2
This week was a very busy week for me. My Christmas break ended and I flew back to the US. I thought a lot of last weeks' backpacking adventure while I was on the plane and the words "be strong and courageous" keep on ringing in my ears like a tune that I just can't get out of my head.
And as it always is after a break, I was greeted by tons of work...but also by a new chapter of Joshua (yay!). It's a little bit of a story, if you want to stick with me, but for me, this week was all about Rahab.
Did I mention that I am a German instructor at a college? For me this is like a calling. It's what I like to do and what I am good at. But I don't do it just for myself. I get in contact with a lot of students and teaching them a foreign language is a little bit like opening a new door for them. Speaking a foreign language and knowing about a foreign culture is not just preparation to travel abroad, but it helps people to reflect back on their own lives and can (not just physically) lead them into new directions that would otherwise be hidden from them.
Anyway, teaching is my way of serving the Lord. I'm single, I have no children and I am not a very important person at all. Unlike other researchers, I doubt that I will find a cure for cancer or that there is any other huge accomplishment for human kind in my future. But maybe there is for one of my students. They are so smart and full of ideas and energy. I am sure the Lord has big plans for their lives. My job is it to prepare them for these big plans by teaching them German. As I see it, I am serving the Lord by serving my students. That is what makes me part of God's big plan.
{Are you still following my story? I promise I'll get to Rahab soon!}
Due to the bad economy, my current school combined two positions. In other words, I am working two jobs and only get paid the bare minimum that one job would usually pay. In addition, I am often asked to do extra jobs on the side without earning any form of recognition (which would be important for an academic career) or any compensation. It is bad. Very. But during these times, I am glad that I have a job at all.
At the moment, I have a group of very intelligent and motivated students. Because I feel responsible and committed to my students, last semester I promised them something for this semester. When I came back this week, I learned that my department had found out about this promise and is now trying to twist it into a completely new direction, making me work extra time each week without getting paid for it.
You wouldn't believe how upset I was when I found out about it! I felt used and taken advantage of. I shed tears of anger and frustration. I felt caught between the commitment to my students and my own interests.
What am I supposed to do?
The entire situation basically burns down to two options: (a) I could keep my promise and be taken advantage of, or (b) I could break my promise and protect myself from being taken advantage of.
And while I am still pondering my options, I get contacted by a student of mine who is scared that I will break my promise. What am I supposed to do? And in my ears it still rings: Be strong and courageous, Mimi, be strong and courageous!
And this is when I met Rahab!
Rahab was a harlot. She knew what it was like to be taken advantage of in much, much, much worse ways than I ever experienced. As if this wasn't dangerous enough, she hid three spies, before she was even promised anything in return. What if the spies had been found? What if Joshua had not agreed to a deal with her, a harlot? After all, she was a person that had just broken one of God's laws by lying! Rahab faced dangers from all sides. Can you imagine how she must have felt, when they came searching for Joshua's men in her house?
As I see it, this is not reflecting back well one Joshua and his people. I mean, what are your men doing in a house of a harlot in the first place? Seriously, Joshua!
Then having someone else like Rahab lie for you. Come on, Joshua, you know better than that!
On top of this, God had just told Joshua to be strong and of good courage and what do his men do? Hide like a mouse!
I don't mean to be too critical, but way to reflect on God's character here, Joshua!
To be honest, "the deal" Joshua's men make in verses 17-21 also sounds more like a threat than a promise. Just like bank robbers, like criminals, they tell Rahab to stay put in her house, to not move outside, to not have anybody of her family come after them or else they would be killed. Hmmmm.
And what do these men do when they get back to safety? These men who just hid for days, having a woman, a prostitute protect them, go and tell their friends that the people of Jericho were afraid of them. Uhm, somebody is hiding some crucial parts of the story just to keep face in front of their friends.
Oh well, let's hope they will at least keep their promise to Rahab in the next chapters.
As I see it, this chapter is not exactly a shining example of God's people presenting his charakter. I think the true heroine here is Rahab!
Rahab is the one who is strong! She is the one strong enough to admit her weaknesses, her fears the respect that she has for the Lord after she heard about what he did in Egypt.
Rahab is the one who is the true believer and follower by risking her life for the Lord and his men!
Rahab is the one who is courageous by hiding the spies!
Rahab is the one who is faithful trusting in God even before she received a promise from Joshua's men!
Go Rahab!
Rahab is strong, faithful, courageous, and loyal to her promise. What might look like she lets Joshua's men take advantage of her, using her house as a hiding place and risking her life, is actually her way of serving the Lord. Even though, it might first look like she is being taken advantage of by Joshua's men, it is quite the opposite: She is being used by the Lord.
The annotations of my bible say that she was given a place in the lineage of the Messiah (Matt 1:5). The promise she received was not just about immediate benefit and protection for her and her family, but she received the promise of being saved for eternity.
Rahab made a good deal!
At the beginning of this blog post, I wrote about my situation and the two options I have: (A) keeping a promise and being taken advantage of, or (B) breaking a promise and protecting myself from being taken advantage of.
Since I really believe that I am serving the Lord through my teaching and that God is keeping his promises and not taking advantage of me, but using me for his big plan, there is really just one option for me.
Be strong and courageous, Mimi!
And as it always is after a break, I was greeted by tons of work...but also by a new chapter of Joshua (yay!). It's a little bit of a story, if you want to stick with me, but for me, this week was all about Rahab.
Did I mention that I am a German instructor at a college? For me this is like a calling. It's what I like to do and what I am good at. But I don't do it just for myself. I get in contact with a lot of students and teaching them a foreign language is a little bit like opening a new door for them. Speaking a foreign language and knowing about a foreign culture is not just preparation to travel abroad, but it helps people to reflect back on their own lives and can (not just physically) lead them into new directions that would otherwise be hidden from them.
Anyway, teaching is my way of serving the Lord. I'm single, I have no children and I am not a very important person at all. Unlike other researchers, I doubt that I will find a cure for cancer or that there is any other huge accomplishment for human kind in my future. But maybe there is for one of my students. They are so smart and full of ideas and energy. I am sure the Lord has big plans for their lives. My job is it to prepare them for these big plans by teaching them German. As I see it, I am serving the Lord by serving my students. That is what makes me part of God's big plan.
{Are you still following my story? I promise I'll get to Rahab soon!}
Due to the bad economy, my current school combined two positions. In other words, I am working two jobs and only get paid the bare minimum that one job would usually pay. In addition, I am often asked to do extra jobs on the side without earning any form of recognition (which would be important for an academic career) or any compensation. It is bad. Very. But during these times, I am glad that I have a job at all.
At the moment, I have a group of very intelligent and motivated students. Because I feel responsible and committed to my students, last semester I promised them something for this semester. When I came back this week, I learned that my department had found out about this promise and is now trying to twist it into a completely new direction, making me work extra time each week without getting paid for it.
You wouldn't believe how upset I was when I found out about it! I felt used and taken advantage of. I shed tears of anger and frustration. I felt caught between the commitment to my students and my own interests.
What am I supposed to do?
The entire situation basically burns down to two options: (a) I could keep my promise and be taken advantage of, or (b) I could break my promise and protect myself from being taken advantage of.
And while I am still pondering my options, I get contacted by a student of mine who is scared that I will break my promise. What am I supposed to do? And in my ears it still rings: Be strong and courageous, Mimi, be strong and courageous!
And this is when I met Rahab!
Rahab was a harlot. She knew what it was like to be taken advantage of in much, much, much worse ways than I ever experienced. As if this wasn't dangerous enough, she hid three spies, before she was even promised anything in return. What if the spies had been found? What if Joshua had not agreed to a deal with her, a harlot? After all, she was a person that had just broken one of God's laws by lying! Rahab faced dangers from all sides. Can you imagine how she must have felt, when they came searching for Joshua's men in her house?
As I see it, this is not reflecting back well one Joshua and his people. I mean, what are your men doing in a house of a harlot in the first place? Seriously, Joshua!
Then having someone else like Rahab lie for you. Come on, Joshua, you know better than that!
On top of this, God had just told Joshua to be strong and of good courage and what do his men do? Hide like a mouse!
I don't mean to be too critical, but way to reflect on God's character here, Joshua!
To be honest, "the deal" Joshua's men make in verses 17-21 also sounds more like a threat than a promise. Just like bank robbers, like criminals, they tell Rahab to stay put in her house, to not move outside, to not have anybody of her family come after them or else they would be killed. Hmmmm.
And what do these men do when they get back to safety? These men who just hid for days, having a woman, a prostitute protect them, go and tell their friends that the people of Jericho were afraid of them. Uhm, somebody is hiding some crucial parts of the story just to keep face in front of their friends.
Oh well, let's hope they will at least keep their promise to Rahab in the next chapters.
As I see it, this chapter is not exactly a shining example of God's people presenting his charakter. I think the true heroine here is Rahab!
Rahab is the one who is strong! She is the one strong enough to admit her weaknesses, her fears the respect that she has for the Lord after she heard about what he did in Egypt.
Rahab is the one who is the true believer and follower by risking her life for the Lord and his men!
Rahab is the one who is courageous by hiding the spies!
Rahab is the one who is faithful trusting in God even before she received a promise from Joshua's men!
Go Rahab!
Rahab is strong, faithful, courageous, and loyal to her promise. What might look like she lets Joshua's men take advantage of her, using her house as a hiding place and risking her life, is actually her way of serving the Lord. Even though, it might first look like she is being taken advantage of by Joshua's men, it is quite the opposite: She is being used by the Lord.
The annotations of my bible say that she was given a place in the lineage of the Messiah (Matt 1:5). The promise she received was not just about immediate benefit and protection for her and her family, but she received the promise of being saved for eternity.
Rahab made a good deal!
At the beginning of this blog post, I wrote about my situation and the two options I have: (A) keeping a promise and being taken advantage of, or (B) breaking a promise and protecting myself from being taken advantage of.
Since I really believe that I am serving the Lord through my teaching and that God is keeping his promises and not taking advantage of me, but using me for his big plan, there is really just one option for me.
Be strong and courageous, Mimi!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Backpacking through Joshua - Week 1
I'm sitting here, in front of my computer with my bible. Joshua, here I come!!! I am ready for this backpacking - bible study - adventure. The book of Joshua intrigues me. I am not sure why, but maybe it has a little bit to do with my own life and my story...
I am originally from Germany. About 10 years ago, I went on a student exchange to the US. I had never spent a whole year abroad before. And here I was going abroad into a foreign country, where I didn't really know anyone, except maybe for a pen pal... I didn't know if my English would be good enough to get around, I didn't know if I would be able to follow the lectures and courses at the college I enrolled. When I boarded the plane, I didn't know where I would stay when I arrived. The exchange agency had promised to organize housing for me, but I didn't know where it would be, if I would have a roommate. Would she be a nice person? I boarded the plane with 300 other passengers, but I felt incredibly alone...
On that plane ride, somewhere, thousands of feet over the atlantic ocean, between nibbling on airplane peanuts and getting handed earphones from a stewardess, I sent out a prayer to my Lord. I put my life into his hands and I promised to trust in him with my future and I wholeheartedly believed that he would provide for me... wherever my journey would lead me.
I wish I had read the first chapter in the book of Joshua at that point. But even though I roughly knew the story, I had never really read this book of the bible. But it didn't matter. I was living it at that moment.
I often find myself looking back at this first journey to the US, the first days in that foreign country, trying to find my way around. Sometimes, I am a little surprised at all the strength and courage I must have had during that time. But I knew that I wasn't alone. I knew everything would be alright. And it was!
Since then, I have crossed the Atlantic many times. The student exchange turned into grad school and eventually into a job. I still go back and forth to visit friends and family for Christmas and during the summer. I know that I am never alone no matter where I go.
Nowadays, the unknown has taken on different shapes: Will my job contract get renewed at the end of the year? What happens if not? Will I have set enough money aside for when I get old or sick? What if something happens to my parents in Europe while I am in the states?...
Whenever these thoughts cross my mind, I think back at that time on the airplane. I remind myself to trust in God. If we make a new friend and get to know that person, it might take a while before we trust that person. I see it as a big gift and proof of friendship when I trust in a friend or when a friend trusts in me. But with God, the situation is different. Trust in God is not optional. It is not just a nice bonus to a happy life. In Joshua 1:9, it is a command. We don't have to ask God for protection and guidance. We can rest assured that God is with us. We can be strong and courage because he is with us.
Before I left for the states, I got a lot of friends and family members gave me gifts to take with me. But WOW! What a gift I had received from my Lord! I am looking forward to what else this backpacking adventure has in store for me...
I am originally from Germany. About 10 years ago, I went on a student exchange to the US. I had never spent a whole year abroad before. And here I was going abroad into a foreign country, where I didn't really know anyone, except maybe for a pen pal... I didn't know if my English would be good enough to get around, I didn't know if I would be able to follow the lectures and courses at the college I enrolled. When I boarded the plane, I didn't know where I would stay when I arrived. The exchange agency had promised to organize housing for me, but I didn't know where it would be, if I would have a roommate. Would she be a nice person? I boarded the plane with 300 other passengers, but I felt incredibly alone...
On that plane ride, somewhere, thousands of feet over the atlantic ocean, between nibbling on airplane peanuts and getting handed earphones from a stewardess, I sent out a prayer to my Lord. I put my life into his hands and I promised to trust in him with my future and I wholeheartedly believed that he would provide for me... wherever my journey would lead me.
I wish I had read the first chapter in the book of Joshua at that point. But even though I roughly knew the story, I had never really read this book of the bible. But it didn't matter. I was living it at that moment.
I often find myself looking back at this first journey to the US, the first days in that foreign country, trying to find my way around. Sometimes, I am a little surprised at all the strength and courage I must have had during that time. But I knew that I wasn't alone. I knew everything would be alright. And it was!
Since then, I have crossed the Atlantic many times. The student exchange turned into grad school and eventually into a job. I still go back and forth to visit friends and family for Christmas and during the summer. I know that I am never alone no matter where I go.
Nowadays, the unknown has taken on different shapes: Will my job contract get renewed at the end of the year? What happens if not? Will I have set enough money aside for when I get old or sick? What if something happens to my parents in Europe while I am in the states?...
Whenever these thoughts cross my mind, I think back at that time on the airplane. I remind myself to trust in God. If we make a new friend and get to know that person, it might take a while before we trust that person. I see it as a big gift and proof of friendship when I trust in a friend or when a friend trusts in me. But with God, the situation is different. Trust in God is not optional. It is not just a nice bonus to a happy life. In Joshua 1:9, it is a command. We don't have to ask God for protection and guidance. We can rest assured that God is with us. We can be strong and courage because he is with us.
Before I left for the states, I got a lot of friends and family members gave me gifts to take with me. But WOW! What a gift I had received from my Lord! I am looking forward to what else this backpacking adventure has in store for me...
Friday, January 7, 2011
Backpacking through Joshua
The new year has just started and I am already in the middle of a new adventure. I signed up for an online bible study called "Backpacking through Joshua". I am so excited, because I have never participated in an online bible study before! I am looking forward to what lies ahead of me! :)
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Life Purpose - Who am I and what I want to do with my life
A couple of weeks ago, a person at work said to me that he was trying to figure out who he was and what he should do with his life.
Wow, what a task!
At first glance, it seems very easy. Who am I? A quick look at my driver's license tells you my name, my height and weight, and where I live.
But these are just facts. Does that really tell anyone who we are? If it is not the facts about ourselves what defines a person? Our faith? Our moral values? Our hopes and dreams? Our life goals?
... I'm not sure. All I know is that I am about 12 years older than the person who told me that, but that I am still struggling with the same questions in life. When I first looked for answers, I was probably the same age as he is right now. By now, I doubt that there will ever be an easy answer. I will never wake up in the morning thinking: Oh, this is who I am and I want to do exactly that for the rest of my life.
What a scary thought! Knowing who you are and what you are supposed to do for the rest of your life, seems almost like a punishment. Being defined and captured in a certain life for the rest of your life sounds very dull to me.
On the other hand, not knowing who you are and what you are supposed to do with your life also bears its risks. After 12 years of searching, I know the downside. If we constantly search for answers about ourselves, we miss out on life. As my Godfather once said to me: At the end of your life, it is not like you can say: Hey, I would like to get the 3/4/5 years back that I spent worrying/ being angry/ or searching for myself. We can't put life on hold, it is constantly moving.
I thought about this for a long time, and for me - which does not have to apply to anyone- I came to the following conclusion:
1. I will set myself goals in life. Goals that seem good and honorable for right now. Nothing keeps me from changing them later on. But I cannot aimlessly search and wonder through life without a goal.
2. Whenever I will have to make a decision, I will keep my goals in mind. My life needs to have a direction.
3. I will acknowledge that all my actions and decisions have consequences. Consequences that influence not only me and my goal, but also the people around me and their goals. Life is always interaction with other people. Whatever I will do, I will do in agreement with my moral values, the virtues I believe in, and my faith.
4. I don't believe what defines me is what I do. I believe what defines me is who I am, and who I am striving to be, the good I believe in.
Wow, what a task!
At first glance, it seems very easy. Who am I? A quick look at my driver's license tells you my name, my height and weight, and where I live.
But these are just facts. Does that really tell anyone who we are? If it is not the facts about ourselves what defines a person? Our faith? Our moral values? Our hopes and dreams? Our life goals?
... I'm not sure. All I know is that I am about 12 years older than the person who told me that, but that I am still struggling with the same questions in life. When I first looked for answers, I was probably the same age as he is right now. By now, I doubt that there will ever be an easy answer. I will never wake up in the morning thinking: Oh, this is who I am and I want to do exactly that for the rest of my life.
What a scary thought! Knowing who you are and what you are supposed to do for the rest of your life, seems almost like a punishment. Being defined and captured in a certain life for the rest of your life sounds very dull to me.
On the other hand, not knowing who you are and what you are supposed to do with your life also bears its risks. After 12 years of searching, I know the downside. If we constantly search for answers about ourselves, we miss out on life. As my Godfather once said to me: At the end of your life, it is not like you can say: Hey, I would like to get the 3/4/5 years back that I spent worrying/ being angry/ or searching for myself. We can't put life on hold, it is constantly moving.
I thought about this for a long time, and for me - which does not have to apply to anyone- I came to the following conclusion:
1. I will set myself goals in life. Goals that seem good and honorable for right now. Nothing keeps me from changing them later on. But I cannot aimlessly search and wonder through life without a goal.
2. Whenever I will have to make a decision, I will keep my goals in mind. My life needs to have a direction.
3. I will acknowledge that all my actions and decisions have consequences. Consequences that influence not only me and my goal, but also the people around me and their goals. Life is always interaction with other people. Whatever I will do, I will do in agreement with my moral values, the virtues I believe in, and my faith.
4. I don't believe what defines me is what I do. I believe what defines me is who I am, and who I am striving to be, the good I believe in.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Chores and Saturdays
I often can't help but wonder how people manage all their daily chores. I mean, there is the household, the laundry, and then my job, friends, etc. etc.
Sometimes, there just doesn't seem to be time for it all to fit into a 24 hour day. During the week, I always struggle to just get through the day and on weekends, all my household chores are waiting for me to play catch up. How do other people do it?
Well, a while ago, I decided to make Saturday morning my safe haven. I sleep in, I get up late, I make a yummy pancake breakfast and watch a romantic comedy in my pjs. I think everybody needs a safe haven like this, a part of the week when you know you can lean back, relax and put the rest of the world and all the chores on hold.
Happy Saturday morning!
Sometimes, there just doesn't seem to be time for it all to fit into a 24 hour day. During the week, I always struggle to just get through the day and on weekends, all my household chores are waiting for me to play catch up. How do other people do it?
Well, a while ago, I decided to make Saturday morning my safe haven. I sleep in, I get up late, I make a yummy pancake breakfast and watch a romantic comedy in my pjs. I think everybody needs a safe haven like this, a part of the week when you know you can lean back, relax and put the rest of the world and all the chores on hold.
Happy Saturday morning!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Unfairness - what a blessing!
It's eating me alive! I am so mad, because I feel treated unfairly. It happens to me all the time. Over and over again:
I work really hard - and my boss or a co-worker takes credit for it.
I go above and beyond with my work - but my co-worker gets an award, even though she didn't even accomplish half as much as I did.
I struggle to afford something new - and they sell me something that has little flaws that I will only notice once I can't take it back anymore.
I save my last penny to get my car fixed, they replace a part - and two weeks later, the car starts making the same weird sounds again.
Life is not fair.
I guess it happens to all of us, but still, I feel mad about these little things in everyday life. I feel treated unfairly.
Maybe I am a little overprotective because I am a single woman. When I go to a store or bring my car to a garage, there is no man behind me that stands up for me.
Maybe they really think:
"Oh, she is just a woman, she has no clue about cars... she won't notice if we do a bad job. And she has a foreign accent - what is she going to do, anyway?"
Or maybe I'm just imagining this.
Fact is: Life is tough. And I have to be tough, too. We all do. ... Really?
The truth is: I'm not tough at all. And I don't want to be tough at all times.
I'm not the kind of person that fits well into an elbow society. I can't walk over people to get to the top. I don't always fight to get it my way. I don't want to fight all the time!
So, how can I survive in a world that is full of unfairness? What can I do so that I won't get eaten alive by all of this unfairness?
Maybe the solution requires a change of perspective. True, life is not always fair, but there are so many situations in which it was to my own advantage that life wasn't fair.
There are all the little things:
Like the colleague who was nice to me, even though I was in a really bad mood the other day. The waitress, who brought me another refill in a to-go cup, even though I definitely didn't overtip her.
There are the big things:
Like my parents - the absolutely bestest parents in the whole wide world - who I don't really deserve, when I take into account how often I yelled at them as a teenager.
And then there are the really big things:
God's mercy. The fact that he died on the cross for all my sins. Thank God that this world is unfair. Thank God that all my sins are forgiven even though I do not deserve it.
Next time, life shows its unfair side - maybe it will help to remember this. I might just be a woman with a foreign accent and no man that stands up for me at work or at the car repair, but hey! I have a God that stands up for me! So, keep your work award and your perfectly humming engines, I'll just stick with my eternal salvation, thank you very much!
I work really hard - and my boss or a co-worker takes credit for it.
I go above and beyond with my work - but my co-worker gets an award, even though she didn't even accomplish half as much as I did.
I struggle to afford something new - and they sell me something that has little flaws that I will only notice once I can't take it back anymore.
I save my last penny to get my car fixed, they replace a part - and two weeks later, the car starts making the same weird sounds again.
Life is not fair.
I guess it happens to all of us, but still, I feel mad about these little things in everyday life. I feel treated unfairly.
Maybe I am a little overprotective because I am a single woman. When I go to a store or bring my car to a garage, there is no man behind me that stands up for me.
Maybe they really think:
"Oh, she is just a woman, she has no clue about cars... she won't notice if we do a bad job. And she has a foreign accent - what is she going to do, anyway?"
Or maybe I'm just imagining this.
Fact is: Life is tough. And I have to be tough, too. We all do. ... Really?
The truth is: I'm not tough at all. And I don't want to be tough at all times.
I'm not the kind of person that fits well into an elbow society. I can't walk over people to get to the top. I don't always fight to get it my way. I don't want to fight all the time!
So, how can I survive in a world that is full of unfairness? What can I do so that I won't get eaten alive by all of this unfairness?
Maybe the solution requires a change of perspective. True, life is not always fair, but there are so many situations in which it was to my own advantage that life wasn't fair.
There are all the little things:
Like the colleague who was nice to me, even though I was in a really bad mood the other day. The waitress, who brought me another refill in a to-go cup, even though I definitely didn't overtip her.
There are the big things:
Like my parents - the absolutely bestest parents in the whole wide world - who I don't really deserve, when I take into account how often I yelled at them as a teenager.
And then there are the really big things:
God's mercy. The fact that he died on the cross for all my sins. Thank God that this world is unfair. Thank God that all my sins are forgiven even though I do not deserve it.
Next time, life shows its unfair side - maybe it will help to remember this. I might just be a woman with a foreign accent and no man that stands up for me at work or at the car repair, but hey! I have a God that stands up for me! So, keep your work award and your perfectly humming engines, I'll just stick with my eternal salvation, thank you very much!
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