Bread Pudding - Yummy!

The other day, I attempted to cook bread pudding for the first time. I always wanted to learn how to make bread pudding and since I am living in the South, now, I felt that it was time for me to learn how to make it. Since I do not like if bread pudding is all gooey and mushy, I decided to alter some recipes I found to come up with my own bread pudding creation. Voilà, here it is:

1 Cinnamon Bagel (yes, I know... very unconventional... but soooo yummy!)
2 tsp. melted butter (for the pudding and the pan)
1 cup of milk
1 egg
a dash of cinnamon
and lots of love :)

1. Cut the bagel in small cubes.
2. Beat the egg with the milk and 1 tsp of melted butter. Add a dash of cinnamon for extra spice.
3. Soak the bagel pieces in the milk, egg, butter mixture for at least 30 min. In the mean time preheat the oven to 350° and butter a ramekin.
4. Pour bagel squares into the ramekin and pour remaining mixture over the bread.
5. Bake for 30 min. or until the top is golden brown.
Let stand for a couple of minutes before serving the bread pudding. Serves 2.

Instead of adding sugar, I sweetened this dish just with love. The cinnamon bagel was already so sweet. I could have added some sugar after baking if it had needed it, but I really liked it the way was.

If anybody who reads this has a real *authentic* bread pudding recipe from the South, I would love to hear about it. Just leave a comment. I'm looking forward to it!

Let me introduce myself...

I recently came across the Proust questionnaire and thought it would be a fun thing to answer some of the questions here. Feel free to comment and answer the same questions on your blog. I would love to get to know who is out there.... :)

What is your idea of earthly happiness?
Happiness is being absolutely content with myself and the world around me. Happiness does not mean to have no worries, but to be able to overcome all worries through one's faith. I am happy... maybe not all days, but most days.

Where would you most like to live?
There are many places where I would really like to live. I love California, or Madison, Wisconsin, or Sweden... but even the most beautiful places in this world don't mean anything if you are alone in them. I would most like to live surrounded by friends and family... or just people who I love and who love me.

What is your favorite virtue?
Love.
(No need to say more... Love says it all.)

I'll be answering more some other time, but that's it for today.

Catching up

It has been a while since I last posted something on this blog. But I believe I have a good excuse: I finished my Ph.D. thesis, defended it, and deposited it. If you have never written a Ph.D. thesis, you cannot imagine how much work this can be. I am so glad this is over. I cannot wait to catch up with all the old adventures that I had to neglect over the past months and years and I am looking forward to dive into new adventures that still lie ahead of me.

Backpacking through Joshua - Week 7

This week, I have read about Achon. He sinned and got called out by God. He admitted his sins and he got ... STONED! Wow! Just like that. And his family, too.

Wow!

I am a little bit in shock. When I think of sin, I automatically tend to think of forgiveness, because I know that Jesus died for our sins. But this story was long before Jesus showed up on the scene.


So, let’s take a closer look:

Why do we sin?
There are many reasons why people sin. Maybe they think they can get away with it. Maybe they want something that does not belong to them, something they have not earned, something they do not deserve. Maybe they are desperate, maybe they think they need something in their lives that they just don’t have. Sinning often seems to be the easiest solution.

Sins have consequences. Consequences not just for the person that sinned, but for the entire community. Achon is the best example.
One of my pet peeves is when I see people acting without social responsibility. They do things that are most convenient for them at the moment without thinking about the people that surround them and others that might suffer under the consequences of their actions.

But sins do not just distance ourselves from other people. Sins distance us from God.
If I believe that God will provide for me, that he will protect me, there is no need for me to choose the easiest way and harm others. I might as well choose the more difficult way, because with God, it won’t be difficult for long. If I trust, there is no need for sin.

I know He will provide.

Backpacking through Joshua - Week 5

I know I am a little late for week 5. However, I am still backpacking and following the trail. In Joshua 5: 8, it says that the Israelites stayed in their places in the camp until they had healed. I think week 5 is a little late, because I had to stay a little longer in camp to heal...

Did you know that Germans don't practice circumcision? Neither do other European cultures, as far as I know. So unless you are a Jew or a Moslem in Germany, chances are very high that you are not circumcised. Week 5's passage made me think about signs for being a Christian and what we do to set ourselves apart as Christians. And I was reminded of last summer...

Two years ago, I moved to my current hometown. Moving from a northern state to the deep south was almost as much of a culture shock as moving to the US from Germany. But since I love to learn about new cultures, I loved my new place. After some research, I found a church to go to and became engaged in one of the ministries. I invited people over to my place. I cooked and baked and tried to welcome them into my house. I thought, I had found nice people, fellow Christians that shared my faith and friendship... until last summer.

My landlord suddenly decided not to renew my lease. I was shocked, because it came very surprisingly to me. I had moved the previous 2 summers and I wasn't planning on moving a third time. I didn't have the money, nor the time or strength to go through yet another move. I just felt overwhelmed.

Moving is always hard. You pack up your entire life and try to start over in a new place. Some things you have to leave because they are too big or too heavy or too fragile to move. Life changes and it will never be the same again.

During that time, I would have loved to have a friend. Not that I expected someone to carry my heavy loads for me, but someone that would meet with me for coffee when I needed a break from packing. Someone who would have stayed with me despite of the move. But the people from church were not there. They were too busy. From the moment that I found out I had to move and things would get difficult, they miraculously became extremely busy.

In one of my lowest moments, I carefully asked several people for a coffee date, but nobody could come. They lectured me that I, as a Christian, had to learn patience. I felt very hurt. I had never asked them for anything before and they even declined to meet for coffee. I needed a friend to talk to, but instead I received a talking to.

When I told my parents that I needed to move, my father booked the next flight to the US and flew in all the way from Germany. My cousin in Sweden, who has a family with 2-year old twin daughters and a full-time job offered to drop everything and fly over to help out. Friends of mine in Germany googled different moving companies and compared moving truck prices for me online. My "Christian" friends were too busy for a conversation.

The day I moved, none of my "Christian" friends helped. Instead a fellow German friend and two colleagues from South America that I had never really talked to before, came without me having to ask for help. We moved my entire apartment in less than 3 hours.

And I guess, just like I moved my stuff into a new place, I think I also moved into a new place, a new mindset. I went back to church a couple more times, but nothing was as it used to be. Eventually I stopped going. I decided to part from them, to cut myself off from them... my private own "circumcision".

If you lose something that is without meaning to you, without life and useless, you don't really notice the loss. They never asked why I stopped going to church.

I am not sure if I am easily recognizable as a Christian, but I am very careful which crowd I choose to blend in with.

I don't believe being a Christian is about standing out either. You don't have to wear a cross as a sign around your neck as long as you hold Jesus in your heart. Giving a friend a ride with your car says more than a fish sticker on your car.

For me, being a Christian is not a fancy facade that I use to hide my flaws. It is the sturdy foundation that I try to base my life on. You might not see the foundation at first glance, but you will know it is there. It will stand firm, especially during tough times and bad weather when other people's facades come tumbling down.

Running behind...

Sorry, fellow Joshua backpackers. I have been running behind on our backpacking adventure. I promise I will try to catch up at our next stop. :o)

Thank you for all the nice comments!

Backpacking through Joshua - Week 4

This afternoon, I was in my car on the way to a coffee shop. A friend of mine was sitting next to me. He had just received yet another dinner invitation from some "friends". His "friends" are a family that invites foreign exchange students like him to their house to tell them about their faith. They are missionaries. But my friend does not want to be part of this.

He grew up as a Christian, he regularly went to church, played in a church band, and he even did children`s ministry. Just in recent years, he started to wonder... he started to question... and he started to doubt. He studies physics and the laws of nature. He thinks that God is there, but he tries to figure out what to believe in. He says he wants to be as rational as possible. He would much rather know than believe, but right now, he is just wondering and thinking about it.... The last thing he wants is others to tell him what to believe in and what not.

So, I am not saying anything. I am just sitting there, like a stone in the Jordan. I am listening to his words and sentences wash over me. I am not a missionary. I believe people who have read the bible need to find their own way to the Lord. If I tell them what to do, try to push them, to convince them of something, they do not really want to do, then they wouldn't do it whole-heartedly. And what good is it if you bring a person, but not his heart to Jesus?

I am a stone, I don't say much. I just sit there and mark the way. I am not the way itself and I cannot carry him all the way, but I am here and I mark part of his way. Because my friend is looking for the way, he just cannot ignore me. He brings up the topic over and over again. On the way to the supermarket, when I drop him off at home after school, and now on our way to the coffee shop.

"I am just trying to figure out what to believe in." he looks at me. When we stop at a traffic light, I send him an encouraging smile: "I know you do. And I know you will find what you are looking for... I know what I believe in." He knows it, too, because he has been there before and he cannot forget it. He sees me almost every day and every day I am one of Joshua's living stones.

I really liked the fourth chapter of Joshua. Every tribe had to carry his own load. Every tribe had to risk the way through the river. Everyone of us carries a load every day. And often it is not easy and we think we will never make it through alive. But as long as we keep our eyes on the Lord we will not drown. Especially, when we are at the lowest point, when we carry the heaviest load, it is important to set a marker, so that we won't forget. Every load that we carried in the past will mark the right way. And we are not alone. We are each other's markers.
I think at the moment I am a pretty big marker on my friend's way. Even though I don't say much and don't try to convince, I kinda block the wrong turn for him.

Backpacking through Joshua - Week 3

I'm not sure if anybody else felt the same, but I think this week's backpacking adventure consisted of a particularly tough part of the road. Not just for Joshua and his people who had to cross the Jordan, but also for me. I read the part over and over - in English, then in German, then again in English... and I am still not sure if I can wrap my head around what I read.

The whole idea of following a leader is a tough one. Especially if you are German... Maybe it is because I was raised not to follow. Maybe because I was taught to think and because I always chose a way in life that was not taken by everybody else, the one "less traveled"...

But in this passage, the Israelites are told to purify themselves and then to follow. To keep their eyes on the ark of the covenant and follow God. The ark of the covenant might be a reminder and a representation of their old traditions, their history, their identity. When you follow someone or something, you give up (at least a part of) your identity. Is that a good thing? Hmmm. Sometimes. Maybe.

I can see how giving oneself up for the LORD is a good thing, especially when you are promised great things in return. But what if these promises are lies? People who commit suicide and blow themselves up just because they believe that they will get into heaven in return... If you follow someone because you think you will get an advantage out of this, isn't that more of a business deal than anything else...

At first glance it seems like "following" is an easy thing to do, but man, if you want to do it right, if you want to follow the right leader, it is so hard! Maybe the secret lies in purifying oneself... But how can you do that? Isn't that something that only Jesus can do for me?

I think I still have to ponder this passage a little more...

One thing comes to mind though, is a song by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. He was a Lutheran priest and took many different roads in his life. He also travelled to many other places to teach and lead, to learn and follow, and just to share his faith. He travelled to Mexico, Cuba, Italy, Spain, England and Libya. He didn't cross the Jordan, but one of his roads led him across the ocean to America, to Harlem. No matter where he went, his leader was always the same person, our Lord. Just like Joshua, he helped to lead God's people to freedom, but because he lived during difficult times and he chose the Lord (and not someone else) as the leader of his life, one of his roads lead him straight into a concentration camp, where he died as a martyr. While being imprisoned, he wrote one of my favorite church songs: "Von guten Mächten"/ "By gracious powers".
The song in and of itself is wonderful, but there is one stanza that has always made a big impression on me:

And when this cup you give is filled to brimming
With bitter suffering, hard to understand,
We take it thankfully and without trembling
Out of so good, and so beloved a hand.

To not only bear suffering by crying out to the Lord but by actually accepting suffering or as he did sure death "thankfully and without trembling" is just amazing. Who can say that about their faith? I am not sure if I do have such strong faith that I can follow the Lord down a road full of suffering and on top of this be thankful and not even tremble. Amazing! Just amazing!

Listen to a German version of the song here.



Find out more about D. Bonhoeffer

Backpacking through Joshua - Week 2

This week was a very busy week for me. My Christmas break ended and I flew back to the US. I thought a lot of last weeks' backpacking adventure while I was on the plane and the words "be strong and courageous" keep on ringing in my ears like a tune that I just can't get out of my head.

And as it always is after a break, I was greeted by tons of work...but also by a new chapter of Joshua (yay!). It's a little bit of a story, if you want to stick with me, but for me, this week was all about Rahab.

Did I mention that I am a German instructor at a college? For me this is like a calling. It's what I like to do and what I am good at. But I don't do it just for myself. I get in contact with a lot of students and teaching them a foreign language is a little bit like opening a new door for them. Speaking a foreign language and knowing about a foreign culture is not just preparation to travel abroad, but it helps people to reflect back on their own lives and can (not just physically) lead them into new directions that would otherwise be hidden from them.

Anyway, teaching is my way of serving the Lord. I'm single, I have no children and I am not a very important person at all. Unlike other researchers, I doubt that I will find a cure for cancer or that there is any other huge accomplishment for human kind in my future. But maybe there is for one of my students. They are so smart and full of ideas and energy. I am sure the Lord has big plans for their lives. My job is it to prepare them for these big plans by teaching them German. As I see it, I am serving the Lord by serving my students. That is what makes me part of God's big plan.

{Are you still following my story? I promise I'll get to Rahab soon!}

Due to the bad economy, my current school combined two positions. In other words, I am working two jobs and only get paid the bare minimum that one job would usually pay. In addition, I am often asked to do extra jobs on the side without earning any form of recognition (which would be important for an academic career) or any compensation. It is bad. Very. But during these times, I am glad that I have a job at all.

At the moment, I have a group of very intelligent and motivated students. Because I feel responsible and committed to my students, last semester I promised them something for this semester. When I came back this week, I learned that my department had found out about this promise and is now trying to twist it into a completely new direction, making me work extra time each week without getting paid for it.

You wouldn't believe how upset I was when I found out about it! I felt used and taken advantage of. I shed tears of anger and frustration. I felt caught between the commitment to my students and my own interests.

What am I supposed to do?

The entire situation basically burns down to two options: (a) I could keep my promise and be taken advantage of, or (b) I could break my promise and protect myself from being taken advantage of.

And while I am still pondering my options, I get contacted by a student of mine who is scared that I will break my promise. What am I supposed to do? And in my ears it still rings: Be strong and courageous, Mimi, be strong and courageous!

And this is when I met Rahab!

Rahab was a harlot. She knew what it was like to be taken advantage of in much, much, much worse ways than I ever experienced. As if this wasn't dangerous enough, she hid three spies, before she was even promised anything in return. What if the spies had been found? What if Joshua had not agreed to a deal with her, a harlot? After all, she was a person that had just broken one of God's laws by lying! Rahab faced dangers from all sides. Can you imagine how she must have felt, when they came searching for Joshua's men in her house?

As I see it, this is not reflecting back well one Joshua and his people. I mean, what are your men doing in a house of a harlot in the first place? Seriously, Joshua!
Then having someone else like Rahab lie for you. Come on, Joshua, you know better than that!
On top of this, God had just told Joshua to be strong and of good courage and what do his men do? Hide like a mouse!
I don't mean to be too critical, but way to reflect on God's character here, Joshua!
To be honest, "the deal" Joshua's men make in verses 17-21 also sounds more like a threat than a promise. Just like bank robbers, like criminals, they tell Rahab to stay put in her house, to not move outside, to not have anybody of her family come after them or else they would be killed. Hmmmm.
And what do these men do when they get back to safety? These men who just hid for days, having a woman, a prostitute protect them, go and tell their friends that the people of Jericho were afraid of them. Uhm, somebody is hiding some crucial parts of the story just to keep face in front of their friends.
Oh well, let's hope they will at least keep their promise to Rahab in the next chapters.

As I see it, this chapter is not exactly a shining example of God's people presenting his charakter. I think the true heroine here is Rahab!

Rahab is the one who is strong! She is the one strong enough to admit her weaknesses, her fears the respect that she has for the Lord after she heard about what he did in Egypt.
Rahab is the one who is the true believer and follower by risking her life for the Lord and his men!
Rahab is the one who is courageous by hiding the spies!
Rahab is the one who is faithful trusting in God even before she received a promise from Joshua's men!

Go Rahab!

Rahab is strong, faithful, courageous, and loyal to her promise. What might look like she lets Joshua's men take advantage of her, using her house as a hiding place and risking her life, is actually her way of serving the Lord. Even though, it might first look like she is being taken advantage of by Joshua's men, it is quite the opposite: She is being used by the Lord.
The annotations of my bible say that she was given a place in the lineage of the Messiah (Matt 1:5). The promise she received was not just about immediate benefit and protection for her and her family, but she received the promise of being saved for eternity.

Rahab made a good deal!

At the beginning of this blog post, I wrote about my situation and the two options I have: (A) keeping a promise and being taken advantage of, or (B) breaking a promise and protecting myself from being taken advantage of.

Since I really believe that I am serving the Lord through my teaching and that God is keeping his promises and not taking advantage of me, but using me for his big plan, there is really just one option for me.

Be strong and courageous, Mimi!

Backpacking through Joshua - Week 1

I'm sitting here, in front of my computer with my bible. Joshua, here I come!!! I am ready for this backpacking - bible study - adventure. The book of Joshua intrigues me. I am not sure why, but maybe it has a little bit to do with my own life and my story...

I am originally from Germany. About 10 years ago, I went on a student exchange to the US. I had never spent a whole year abroad before. And here I was going abroad into a foreign country, where I didn't really know anyone, except maybe for a pen pal... I didn't know if my English would be good enough to get around, I didn't know if I would be able to follow the lectures and courses at the college I enrolled. When I boarded the plane, I didn't know where I would stay when I arrived. The exchange agency had promised to organize housing for me, but I didn't know where it would be, if I would have a roommate. Would she be a nice person? I boarded the plane with 300 other passengers, but I felt incredibly alone...

On that plane ride, somewhere, thousands of feet over the atlantic ocean, between nibbling on airplane peanuts and getting handed earphones from a stewardess, I sent out a prayer to my Lord. I put my life into his hands and I promised to trust in him with my future and I wholeheartedly believed that he would provide for me... wherever my journey would lead me.

I wish I had read the first chapter in the book of Joshua at that point. But even though I roughly knew the story, I had never really read this book of the bible. But it didn't matter. I was living it at that moment.

I often find myself looking back at this first journey to the US, the first days in that foreign country, trying to find my way around. Sometimes, I am a little surprised at all the strength and courage I must have had during that time. But I knew that I wasn't alone. I knew everything would be alright. And it was!

Since then, I have crossed the Atlantic many times. The student exchange turned into grad school and eventually into a job. I still go back and forth to visit friends and family for Christmas and during the summer. I know that I am never alone no matter where I go.

Nowadays, the unknown has taken on different shapes: Will my job contract get renewed at the end of the year? What happens if not? Will I have set enough money aside for when I get old or sick? What if something happens to my parents in Europe while I am in the states?...

Whenever these thoughts cross my mind, I think back at that time on the airplane. I remind myself to trust in God. If we make a new friend and get to know that person, it might take a while before we trust that person. I see it as a big gift and proof of friendship when I trust in a friend or when a friend trusts in me. But with God, the situation is different. Trust in God is not optional. It is not just a nice bonus to a happy life. In Joshua 1:9, it is a command. We don't have to ask God for protection and guidance. We can rest assured that God is with us. We can be strong and courage because he is with us.

Before I left for the states, I got a lot of friends and family members gave me gifts to take with me. But WOW! What a gift I had received from my Lord! I am looking forward to what else this backpacking adventure has in store for me...

Backpacking through Joshua

The new year has just started and I am already in the middle of a new adventure. I signed up for an online bible study called "Backpacking through Joshua". I am so excited, because I have never participated in an online bible study before! I am looking forward to what lies ahead of me! :)